Who would you be, if you forget all those scars

Sometimes I feel like I am somebody else. It is not me anymore. Spontaneous, laughing crazy child. I was running everywhere, full of energy. I did not care what other people think. Enjoying every moment, there was no space for fears of failure. I was confident, very gentle sometimes sassy and I really liked that. I was excepting myself, behaving the way I wanted. Shining, excited to be alive.

Then something happened, something has changed. I have started to feel scared, very anxious about myself. Other children, did not want to play with me. If they did, they wanted something from me (for example - to bring an ice cream from my grandma haha). I was very happy, if they talked to me at least sometimes. There was some hope, that maybe I am not that bad, I am enough. But disappointment came very often. I was everywhere alone and I did not understand why. It felt like nobody understands me.

The hole in my heart was getting bigger and bigger. I have started to believe that I am not worthy of love, I am different, so it means, I am bad, weird..

People always told me that I am pure but very naive. After many dissappointments, I started to be less gentle with myself and with others. Starting to set boundaries. My mind and heart - DO NOT BE VULNERABLE! You do not want to feel that pain, do you? You have to express your opinion loudly, ALWAYS. You cannot allow yourself to be free flying, gentle fairy as before. People will take advantage of you.

The life will change you, but in some chapters you will realize, that you went far away from the real essence of your being.

It is okay to set boundaries, it is okay to know your worth, it is great to say NO, and it is normal to go through this process. But is it okay to be vulnerable? To open your heart?.. Well, imagine if you forget all those people who have hurt you, use you. If you accept it like it was neccessary for your growth. It supposed to happen.

Do not forget, it does not mean that you will close your heart to the whole world forever and especially to yourself. NOW put your right hand on your heart, breath deeply in.. and out..

and SAY

I LET GO OF MY PAST.

I ALLOW MYSELF TO FORGIVE TO THOSE WHO HURT ME.

I OPEN MY HEART TO LOVE.

FROM NOW I BELIEVE THAT I DESERVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

I know it is scary, but if you open your heart again. It will change your life forever.